The big question I keep asking myself is not, "why me?" but rather, "how me?"
How does a guy end up with what looks like three primary cancer tumors in five years?
That's three different kinds of cancer (unless of course the kidney tumor turns out to be rectal cancer that has metastasized)in one person. A lot of people get cancer - but usually just one kind.
There are only a few possibilities.
1. I have a weak immune system.
2. I have some sort of genetic quirk.
3. I am extremely lucky (bad lucky).
Number one: Right now it doesn't seem plausible. I rarely get sick. Until my prostate cancer I never took a sick day from the newsroom at the Citizen-Times. In the past 10 years I have had the flu once. And now, it looks like I am handling the chemo therapy and radiation in a way that a body with a strong immune system would. We are halfway through the chemo and one third through radiation and my big problem is a little bit of heart burn.
Number two: Every doctor I have talked to has suggested we do some sort of genetic testing to see what's up with me.
But, I have one aunt who died of stomach cancer in 1977 and that's it. Everyone else in the family lives long lives with few sicknesses. My brother and father get tested frequently - partly because of me - with nothing showing up. Genetics just doesn't seem likely.
Number three: Could one guy be so lucky? Actually this one falls in best with my belief system. Some people get good cards, some people don't. I stopped playing poker in college because it became apparent that I was never going to get good cards and that I would never develop the skill to play bad cards.
The conclusion is that this is all some horrible mistake or dream and I will wake up soon. Yeah, that's it - it's a dream. A horribly awful dream. zzzznzznznzznnnnn.
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1 comment:
Pineapple King,
I was trying to remove the spam comment and somehow your's got removed too.
I didn't have a problem with it. In fact I can't even remember what it was.
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