Who else would be in my movie?

Main Characters
My brother Mike would be played by David Cross


Billy Barty would play my trusted, older friend that I go to for advice.


The Billy Barty character does not exist in real life and wasn't even in the book (that has never been written). I just like a movie with Billy Barty.

My sister, Ellen, would be played by Erin Moran


And my sister, Carol, would be played by Nancy Cartwright


My Parents:
A young Candace Bergen would play my Mother

And Spencer Tracy would play my father


At times in the movie Spenser Tracy would inexplicably be replaced by the claymation figure of Danny Divito from the Brisk Iced Tea commercials


Family:
Of course, my wife would be played by Leela from Futurama
And my daughter would be played by Franka Potenta who played Lola in "Run, Lola, Run"
A movie I can't get out of my head

Get it? Lola? Leela? It's a joke.

Other characters:
My friend Melissa, who would have the only singing part in the movie, would be played (at her request) by Alfre Woodard

And the Dalai Lama would show up as himself to read the epilogue notes at the end of the movie.

Of course I am open to suggestions.

The Movie or My Life II

It has just become painfully obvious to me that there will never be a movie of my life made. Unless I finance it myself and then I will never be able to afford Clint or Philip.
Someone at work suggested Ron Howard

I guess he could play a young Catnap.

The Movie of My Life

It just became painfully obvious to me that in the movie of my life, I am going to be played by Clint Howard or possibly Philip Seymour Hoffman .

What I have been up to

After one week of frustration over not getting good clips from the singing competition we are sponsoring, I made a few adjustments and made my best recordings yet.
Only two more weeks of the show left. I have to figure out something to do at the finale.
check out all the singers here: week 5 singers
If you just have a few minutes you have to listen to the six year old that opened the show:
Brianna Ballinger

Back deck day

Had a great back deck day on Saturday.
Lucy and I went to Lowes early to get some plants and a pair of tin snips. I need the snips to alter a downspout on the front of the house.
I think my alteration is going to work.
We cooked a kielbasa on the grill for lunch and ate it with toothpicks and a dish of mustard.
Then for dinner we had chicken kabobs with lots of veggies.
We grilled up some fresh pineapple that was drizzled with honey for dessert.
We live like kings!

Bike is ready

Finally took my bike to the shop for a tune-up and I am ready to ride. Now the weather has to cooperate. For instance, as I type this it is 40 degrees out -- too cold for me.
Got a back-hand compliment at the bike shop.
The kid who brought the bike out mentioned that the color made it easy to spot (it is bright yellow).
"It has nice components though," he said.
I told him the story of how I bought the bike in Black Mountain, N.C. Including how the guy who owned the shop came to purchase the frame from which my bike was built.
"Yeah," he said as he closed the register and headed towards the back room. "It has nice components."
It does have nice components.

back to work

I made two audio posts yesterday. One from the Wal-Mart parking lot and one from my backyard. Now It is 4:21 a.m. and I don't even know my name.

Read my column about blogging

I'm not sure how good this is and the link will only stay good for a seven days so check it out and let me know.
My column in the Marion Star

Why is this man frowning?

Because it rained all day yesterday and we could not get out on the deck.
The sun is out this morning so things look better for possible garden work.
I do need to mow.
I have had a very sore neck since Friday. The pain is mostly on the right side and climbs down my arm to my elbow.
I love those therma pad thingys that stay hot for 12 hours.
At least the squirrel is out of the chimney. The stupid creature was in there for 4 days - ignoring all our entreaties to go chew on his nuts elsewhere.
Finally, mothballs (insert your own joke here) combined with an open door and two hours of quiet from the Grasers resulted in Mr. Fuzzy-Tailed-Rat staggering out the door and into the front yard (where, if there is any irony in the world, he was eaten by a hawk).
Today I gotta put something on the chimney cap to keep this from happening again.

Back Deck Life

We have been pretty much living on the back deck. Probably the most enjoyable part of the house. It needs a little work. We are perplexed by the chain-link fence. But, it is still a ready-to-party spot.
(click on these photos for larger versions)
Lucy took this snap-shot of me at the grill:

What an amazing belly! The result of three months of bachelor living followed by deck living. I am not exactly sure what I am doing with the left hand. It looks like I can't reach everything I used to reach.

Here's a shot of Lucy after a dip in the wading pool. She is undoubtedly asking me to get her some juice.


This is a shot of Lucy escaping from the sandbox:


And here's a kid that was not so lucky:


From a distance, my belly does not seem that big:

Lucy took this photo. I only cropped it a little. I like her full frame shots a lot.

The Three States of Lucy:
Lucy is generally doing one of three things. Here they are

Asking:

She almost always wants something - food - a toy on a high shelf - a "treat" - to be picked up and held upside down so she can giggle uncontrollably - and on and on and on.

Eating:

The kid likes to eat. But, not everything. Food served on a plate while being confined to a table and family conversation is generally "sorta yucky." Food in a cone is always acceptable - even after being dropped on the filthy zoo tarmac.

Moving Fast:

The kid is almost always moving fast. Except when it comes time to clean up her room or get ready for bed.

Office Life:
When I am not on the deck I am in my office.
This is the the wall to the left of my desk. I hope nobody looks too closely at the awards and certificates and such. Most are kind of lame.


Here is my view throughout the day:

The mess ebbs and wanes.

Finally, this is the road behind the office:

Midwest enough for you?

We are moving to Alaska

Here is the latest Lucy story making the rounds in Marion Ohio:
Lucy hates to go to bed. It is totally ridiculous to sleep, she reasons, when you can be awake and playing.
There are pretty regular arguments about the need to sleep.
We usually give up any logical argument and say to her, "Look out the window, it's dark. It's time to go to sleep."
"I wish it would stay light out all the time so I would never have to go to sleep," Lucy said to me a few nights ago.
OK, just so everybody knows, I have an ego problem and can't help showing off my vast knowledge even when it is only to impress a four-year-old.
"In the summertime in Alaska," I pompously pontificated, "The sun stays out all night"
"Let's move to Alaska," Lucy said.
"We can't move to Alaska honey because Gannett doesn't own a newspaper there," I replied.
"As soon as Gannett buys a newspaper in Alaska, we can move there," I added, I believe just to tease her.
Now Lucy has been telling anybody that listens that as soon as her daddy buys enough newspapers we will be moving to Alaska, where they have 40 different words for "white space."

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the lyrics of the blog

The name of the blog comes from a Tragically Hip song.
Here are the lyrics. I have no idea what they mean.

I want a book that'll make me drunk
full of freaks and disenfranchised punks.
No amount of hate no load of junk
no bag or words no costume trunk
could make me feel the same way
an inch an hour two feet a day
to move through night
in this most fashionable way.
There's this fuckin band you gotta see
they used to scare the living shit outta me.
No frothing dog no cool insanity
no rock n' roll no christianity
makes me feel the same way
an inch an hour two feet a day
to move through night
with very little else to say
but i'm helpless less with the people
than the space
No struggletown no bemused trudeau
no solitary walks through vacant lots
in moonglow
Tonight the winter may have missed its mark
you can see your breath in Springside Park
coffee-coloured ice and peeling birch bark the
sound of rushing water in the dark
makes me feel the same way
an inch an hour two feet a day
to move through life
with very little else to say
but i'm helpless more with the people
than the space
I mean I'm helpless less with the people
than the space
You see, I don't know Neil
I don't know Neil