Fun with my ostomy
I think I set a broadcast record a week ago. I was going on and on about something on my weekly radio show on Hometown Radio WMRN. It is a sort of roundtable public affairs call in show. It’s not really my show. I am the co-host with the radio station’s news director.
Now, you might not know that a stoma is beyond the control of its owner, but it’s true. It does it’s thing without input from its owner and can be remarkable unpredictable.
So, as I said, I was going on and on about something or other when my stome decided to release some gas.
It is usually not that big a deal. Most of the time I don’t even know it is happening and since the odor is contained by my pouch, no one else notices either. Sometimes, however, there is an aural component. This was one of those times.
When the stoma makes a noise it sounds exactly like what it is. And, this time it really sounded like what it was. This particular event was notable, not just for its remarkable sound but also for its length.
It is impossible to measure these things. It was probably not more than 10 seconds but seemed much longer.
The other remarkable thing is that the sound was picked up beautifully by the microphone. I was wearing headphones and could hear the raspberry, in stereo, as clear as a bell.
I have no way of checking it out, but I am sure it was the longest, clearest and most recognizable fart ever broadcast on WMRN.
Am I proud? I don’t know. I know I will always remember the moment.