Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Trip to the doc

I went to see a regular doctor yesterday. I haven't had a real physical since early 2005. The cancer guys are good but they don't care about cholesterol. So the nurse finishes up asking me a bunch of questions and gets up to leave. "I'll get out a sheet and some lubricant because she will want to do a rectal exam," she said.
"I have a stoma," I said. "So, she won't want to do that."
She said ok and walked out the door. Then, she turned right back around and said, "But you know she will want to check your prostate."
"I don't have a rectum at all," I said. "So, she can't do that. And, I don't have a prostate."
She looked at me for a moment and said, "Then you're all set!"
There are some advantages to having a stoma. This is the most obvious.


Terri said...

I need to change my pointer to you on my blog (which I rarely write on anymore) to A guy who beat rectal cancer.(instead of colon cancer)

I didn't know. I had to look up stoma 'cause I didn't really know what that was either. You should see the videos on You Tube. Wow.

Does this mean, and excuse me for asking, that you don't poot? Every wife's dream!

Catnap40 said...

You could change it to a guy that beat prostate and rectal cancer.
At one point we thought I had three primary cancers, but the mass on my kidney turned out to be benign.
I do poot, but I poot in a pouch.
If I don't have a lot of gas, it dissipates slowly through a filter with little or no odor. If I have a lot of gas, my pouch balloons, and I have to go into the bathroom and vent. That's usually a smelly event - imagine a dozen or so farts saved up in a plastic bag released all at once.
The thing I miss most is reading the newspaper on the toilet. Otherwise, I am pretty well adjusted to my arrangement.