Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Comets Win!
Our first game was changed to 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. but no one told us so we didn't show up, but the team we were supposed to play didn't want to be in the tournament. So, we played at 11 and beat the Fire 2-1 and then beat the Blaze 2-0 for the championship!
Lucy got two medals and a Columbus Crew bracelet.
She also took her pants off in the game against the Fire. Same reason as before - she thought it would be funny. It was, but not Ha Ha funny, unless your name was something other than Tom or Mary Graser - then I suppose it was very Ha Ha funny. damnit.
Lucy got two medals and a Columbus Crew bracelet.
She also took her pants off in the game against the Fire. Same reason as before - she thought it would be funny. It was, but not Ha Ha funny, unless your name was something other than Tom or Mary Graser - then I suppose it was very Ha Ha funny. damnit.
Now I may heal!
So, there was some sort of screw up with the dosage in my chemo therapy pump. I noticed early Friday morning that the pump was going to go dry, or at least think it was dry, at about noon.
I called the doctor's office and they had me come in.
It was decided to remove the pump a day early. No one was too concerned that I got a day's less medicine. An hour later I was at the radiation clinic where I received my last dose of radiation.
I spent the afternoon in a rather dazed condition.
The radiation doc agreed that one day of medicine would make little or no difference and said that the radiation and chemo would continue to work for about two weeks. Some of my physical reactions to the therapy should start to dissipate almost immediately. I should start to feel better - have more strength, not feel like a wet dish rag, in about a week or so, but I will occasionally fall back into a very fatigued state.
On June 19, I see the surgeon in Columbus (Home of the Keating Family in "Family Ties" and James Thurber), who will tell me what he has planned for me.
My fantasy is he will say, "It's a blessed God damned miracle Mr. Graser, the cancer is gone, go home and never darken my door again."
However, I think he is going to say, "Get your stuff in order, we split you open in two weeks."
I will let you know how it goes.
Lucy is supposed to play in a soccer tournament today. Not sure how that is going to go. It rained a lot yesterday and the history is they cancel if it is wet, but there is no rainday for this and there is a lot planned.
I will let you know how that goes too.
I called the doctor's office and they had me come in.
It was decided to remove the pump a day early. No one was too concerned that I got a day's less medicine. An hour later I was at the radiation clinic where I received my last dose of radiation.
I spent the afternoon in a rather dazed condition.
The radiation doc agreed that one day of medicine would make little or no difference and said that the radiation and chemo would continue to work for about two weeks. Some of my physical reactions to the therapy should start to dissipate almost immediately. I should start to feel better - have more strength, not feel like a wet dish rag, in about a week or so, but I will occasionally fall back into a very fatigued state.
On June 19, I see the surgeon in Columbus (Home of the Keating Family in "Family Ties" and James Thurber), who will tell me what he has planned for me.
My fantasy is he will say, "It's a blessed God damned miracle Mr. Graser, the cancer is gone, go home and never darken my door again."
However, I think he is going to say, "Get your stuff in order, we split you open in two weeks."
I will let you know how it goes.
Lucy is supposed to play in a soccer tournament today. Not sure how that is going to go. It rained a lot yesterday and the history is they cancel if it is wet, but there is no rainday for this and there is a lot planned.
I will let you know how that goes too.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Two radiation treatments to go
One this morning and one tomorrow afternoon. Then Saturday morning I get the pump off and I should start to feel a little better.
Truth is, besides the extremely frustrating and painful moments in the bathroom and the general weariness, I am doing pretty well.
I actually slept for 8 hours last night (with the help of ambien). I am not going into work until after my radiation appointment. I have a lunch meeting so I changed it.
In case you can't tell, I am very excited.I have only 14.7 ml (out of 55) of 5FU to get in me. The port is only starting to get slightly uncomfortable. I think that might be because I decided to plant some tomatoes yesterday and I loosened up the tape that holds the needle I might do some kitchen surgery on that this morning.
Otherwise this are going
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Truth is, besides the extremely frustrating and painful moments in the bathroom and the general weariness, I am doing pretty well.
I actually slept for 8 hours last night (with the help of ambien). I am not going into work until after my radiation appointment. I have a lunch meeting so I changed it.
In case you can't tell, I am very excited.I have only 14.7 ml (out of 55) of 5FU to get in me. The port is only starting to get slightly uncomfortable. I think that might be because I decided to plant some tomatoes yesterday and I loosened up the tape that holds the needle I might do some kitchen surgery on that this morning.
Otherwise this are going
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Last Week of Treatment
I am hooked up to my Borg treatment pump. 5 ml per hour of 5Fu (Fluorouracil)is coursing through my veins.
It is much more pleasant than my last treatment.
Last time the port had just been installed in my chest and I was in a considerable amount of pain. Each time it started to feel a little better I had to have a radiation treatment that involved putting pressure on the port and the pain started all over. I came dangerously close to liking the vicodin a little too much.
Yesterday, the doc prescribed some Ambien because he thought I should be getting more than six hours of sleep per night (that's a good night).
I took one last night and slept pretty soundly from 8 to midnight - woke up to pee and then woke up for good around 3 a.m. I got out of be about 3:45 and I feel much better than I did yesterday.
I skipped most of work yesterday mainly because of exhaustion but also because I had to go to two medical appointment and then the pharmacy - which is always a nightmare for me (Mary just breezes right through).
The big family news is that Lucy is not afraid to be upstairs by herself anymore. We can park her up here to play on the computer or watch TV and we can enjoy adult shows on the good TV. By adult shows I mean shows that aren't cartoons. Although the cartoons we watch shouldn't be viewed by children. I do let Lucy watch the Simpsons, simply because it is the most real show on TV.
I was the parent helper at Lucy's pre-school earlier this year.
The teacher was about to read a story and she mentioned that the author's name was Mo Johnson.
"That's a different name, isn't it? Have you ever heard of anyone named Mo?" the teacher asked.
There was a pause and then Lucy raised her hand.
"There's a Moe on the Simpsons," she said and paused for a second. "He runs the beer parlor."
The teacher looked at me and smiled and I shrugged and mumbled something about a broken V chip.
I asked Lucy later where she had heard the term "beer parlor"
"Well when you get ice cream you go to an ice cream parlor so when you want beer you go to a beer parlor." She really is capable of thinking and reasoning, which is hard to believe when you see some of the dumb and dangerous things she does when unattended.
It is much more pleasant than my last treatment.
Last time the port had just been installed in my chest and I was in a considerable amount of pain. Each time it started to feel a little better I had to have a radiation treatment that involved putting pressure on the port and the pain started all over. I came dangerously close to liking the vicodin a little too much.
Yesterday, the doc prescribed some Ambien because he thought I should be getting more than six hours of sleep per night (that's a good night).
I took one last night and slept pretty soundly from 8 to midnight - woke up to pee and then woke up for good around 3 a.m. I got out of be about 3:45 and I feel much better than I did yesterday.
I skipped most of work yesterday mainly because of exhaustion but also because I had to go to two medical appointment and then the pharmacy - which is always a nightmare for me (Mary just breezes right through).
The big family news is that Lucy is not afraid to be upstairs by herself anymore. We can park her up here to play on the computer or watch TV and we can enjoy adult shows on the good TV. By adult shows I mean shows that aren't cartoons. Although the cartoons we watch shouldn't be viewed by children. I do let Lucy watch the Simpsons, simply because it is the most real show on TV.
I was the parent helper at Lucy's pre-school earlier this year.
The teacher was about to read a story and she mentioned that the author's name was Mo Johnson.
"That's a different name, isn't it? Have you ever heard of anyone named Mo?" the teacher asked.
There was a pause and then Lucy raised her hand.
"There's a Moe on the Simpsons," she said and paused for a second. "He runs the beer parlor."
The teacher looked at me and smiled and I shrugged and mumbled something about a broken V chip.
I asked Lucy later where she had heard the term "beer parlor"
"Well when you get ice cream you go to an ice cream parlor so when you want beer you go to a beer parlor." She really is capable of thinking and reasoning, which is hard to believe when you see some of the dumb and dangerous things she does when unattended.
Monday, May 22, 2006
The whole team
The other two girls on the team were late for the photo.
click on it to see it real big.
Last five days of chemo
Today I get hooked back up to the chemo pump for five days. This is also the last week of radiation treatments.
I am anxious to see how the pump feels. The last time I had it on, the port was pretty painful. Now, I hardly every feel it.
Sometime this week they are going to cut my radiation fields down to two. Right now, I get three fields treated. The machine shoots for about 26 seconds at each hip and then 8 seconds at the top of my butt.
They are cutting out the butt field but not cutting back on the radiation, so it will be more like 30 seconds on each hip.
Everybody says I will really get the fatigues this week. This weekend wasn't a great one for energy.
So, the schedule now is - five days of chemo, five days of radiation, two week wait, visit with surgeon, operation within five weeks of end of treatment.
Oh, and we have to figure out what to do about the tumor on the kidney.
Let's talk about fun things.
Lucy had a soccer match Saturday and when she played she did well. She is easily distracted and when she decides she wants to tell somebody something, that becomes way more important than the game.
The coolest thing about her is that she really wants to meet the kids on the other team. Absolutely the best attitude, I think. She treats the games as an opportunity to make friends.
Next week we play in a tournament - at least three 30-minute games. If we have our star, James playing, we should do pretty well. Our coach had to put him on defense and forbid him from crossing the midfield line to keep from running the score up on the team we played this weekend. When we last met them, James was a no-show and we got killed.
I am anxious to see how the pump feels. The last time I had it on, the port was pretty painful. Now, I hardly every feel it.
Sometime this week they are going to cut my radiation fields down to two. Right now, I get three fields treated. The machine shoots for about 26 seconds at each hip and then 8 seconds at the top of my butt.
They are cutting out the butt field but not cutting back on the radiation, so it will be more like 30 seconds on each hip.
Everybody says I will really get the fatigues this week. This weekend wasn't a great one for energy.
So, the schedule now is - five days of chemo, five days of radiation, two week wait, visit with surgeon, operation within five weeks of end of treatment.
Oh, and we have to figure out what to do about the tumor on the kidney.
Let's talk about fun things.
Lucy had a soccer match Saturday and when she played she did well. She is easily distracted and when she decides she wants to tell somebody something, that becomes way more important than the game.
The coolest thing about her is that she really wants to meet the kids on the other team. Absolutely the best attitude, I think. She treats the games as an opportunity to make friends.
Next week we play in a tournament - at least three 30-minute games. If we have our star, James playing, we should do pretty well. Our coach had to put him on defense and forbid him from crossing the midfield line to keep from running the score up on the team we played this weekend. When we last met them, James was a no-show and we got killed.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
What is Lucy doing?
I believe she is saying "What's that you're going to do when we get home mom? Strangle me?"
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
I knew this question was coming
Lucy was asking me the difference between edible mushrooms and poisonous ones.
I did my best and then stressed that we only eat mushrooms that come from the grocery store.
"To hunt mushrooms you have to be an expert," I said.
"Well," she said, "I know how much two and two is and I know how to walk to my new school, except I can't remember which way you have to walk first."
...
It's not the cancer that is going to kill me.
I did my best and then stressed that we only eat mushrooms that come from the grocery store.
"To hunt mushrooms you have to be an expert," I said.
"Well," she said, "I know how much two and two is and I know how to walk to my new school, except I can't remember which way you have to walk first."
...
It's not the cancer that is going to kill me.
Lucy and the cowboy movie
It all started when the people that were sitting next to us left the Mayhem game before it was over. They left behind about 20 tickets from the 50-50 drawing. The original number for the drawing was never claimed so they drew another. We snagged up the tickets sitting on the floor beside us. Would that be sweet? We didn't win. But Lucy did get some tickets to use the next time she decided to put on a show - which was, of course, the next morning.
She enlisted me in helping her draw some scenery, then she got all the props together and held a special Mother's Day presentation of Lucy's Wild West Show.
It was a "love movie" she explained, set in the wild west.
If you click on these to make them bigger you can really see the details of the set.
She enlisted me in helping her draw some scenery, then she got all the props together and held a special Mother's Day presentation of Lucy's Wild West Show.
It was a "love movie" she explained, set in the wild west.
If you click on these to make them bigger you can really see the details of the set.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Lucy and the Dancing Divas
On Saturday night, Lucy, Daddy and Grandpa went to see the Marion Mayhem play the Port Huron Pirates in the Great Lakes Indoor Football League.
Lucy's favorite part of the night is seeing the Dancing Divas.
After the game, we went down on the field and took pictures and got autographs of the Divas.
This is Katie, Lucy's favorite Dancing Diva.
Here's Lucy with two Diva's
We all had a great time!
Lucy's favorite part of the night is seeing the Dancing Divas.
After the game, we went down on the field and took pictures and got autographs of the Divas.
This is Katie, Lucy's favorite Dancing Diva.
Here's Lucy with two Diva's
We all had a great time!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Updates
I added an update to my other blog - An Interesting Life. It is, indeed, interesting. Especially if you are interested in the intricacies of catheters.
If you have not checked out The North Country Pineapple King, you really should. He make me seem sane.
You also need to see what my buddy the Avant Gardner has been up to (click on it to see it just a bit bigger):
The Avant Gardner says: It took me three days to get this right. It was one of the hardest things I have done with rocks yet, as equal weight had to be applied to each side of the shelf each time I added material. Working title is "3Arches1Pedestal." And if you happen to know what the Guinness Book of World Records entry for "most arches on a pedestal," let me know. I might attempt it.
Come see the Avant Garden anytime. Admission is free.
If you have not checked out The North Country Pineapple King, you really should. He make me seem sane.
You also need to see what my buddy the Avant Gardner has been up to (click on it to see it just a bit bigger):
The Avant Gardner says: It took me three days to get this right. It was one of the hardest things I have done with rocks yet, as equal weight had to be applied to each side of the shelf each time I added material. Working title is "3Arches1Pedestal." And if you happen to know what the Guinness Book of World Records entry for "most arches on a pedestal," let me know. I might attempt it.
Come see the Avant Garden anytime. Admission is free.
Not sure about soccer today
It rained most of yesterday. It is about 46 degrees at 6:30. Our game is not until 10 and it is not supposed to rain anymore - But no one wants to stand in a puddle and experience the onset of hypothermia just so our kids can chase a ball around - or do we.
Had a visit from the diarrhea monster last night. I think I had one piece of sausage too many with my spaghetti. Funny, the last time I had diarrhea was earlier in the week when I ate kielbasa sausage....I should be picking up a pattern here ... Wait for it ... No ... Nothing.
Mom and Dad are in town. We are going to the Marion Mayhem game tonight. Just me, Dad and Lucy.
Otherwise, I gotta get my tomatoes in the ground and I really want to mow the lawn - And I should take it easy.
This is the press box at the Veterans Memorial coliseum where the Mayhem play - See the big Marion Star banner?
Here are some action shots from a Mayhem game taken by a Marion Star photographer.
The photographers have a scary job. They are right on the field with no where to run if the play goes near them. So far, we have had no casualties.
Best part of the game is the running clock. They only stop for incomplete passes during the last minute of each quarter - otherwise the clock keeps ticking, still the Mayhem have been able to score 82 points in one game - another team in the league scored 90 points last weekend.
Had a visit from the diarrhea monster last night. I think I had one piece of sausage too many with my spaghetti. Funny, the last time I had diarrhea was earlier in the week when I ate kielbasa sausage....I should be picking up a pattern here ... Wait for it ... No ... Nothing.
Mom and Dad are in town. We are going to the Marion Mayhem game tonight. Just me, Dad and Lucy.
Otherwise, I gotta get my tomatoes in the ground and I really want to mow the lawn - And I should take it easy.
This is the press box at the Veterans Memorial coliseum where the Mayhem play - See the big Marion Star banner?
Here are some action shots from a Mayhem game taken by a Marion Star photographer.
The photographers have a scary job. They are right on the field with no where to run if the play goes near them. So far, we have had no casualties.
Best part of the game is the running clock. They only stop for incomplete passes during the last minute of each quarter - otherwise the clock keeps ticking, still the Mayhem have been able to score 82 points in one game - another team in the league scored 90 points last weekend.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Loose tooth vs. Loose bowels
Lucy's second loose tooth gave up its grip on her gums last night shortly after she went to bed.
I suspected that would happen. She is probably most active after bed time and while I was reading her a collection of Garfield comics as her good night story I could not help but notice that she was using her tongue to make the tooth lie flat on the top of her lip.
Yesterday, after lunch, the first of the predicted diarrhea events occurred. It was not too bad and I took some immodium and besides some rumbling, I have been fine since.
I have been incredibly fatigued the last two days.
Tonight we have baseball clinic. Also today, my parents arrive for a week-long visit.
I think dad will go to baseball tonight. That should be fun. It is really quite chaotic and you have to go to all the sessions to notice the dramatic change in ability that occurs.
But it is basically a gym full of 3- to 5-year-olds swinging bats with reckless abandon.
We have a tornado watch this morning. It is quite windy.
I suspected that would happen. She is probably most active after bed time and while I was reading her a collection of Garfield comics as her good night story I could not help but notice that she was using her tongue to make the tooth lie flat on the top of her lip.
Yesterday, after lunch, the first of the predicted diarrhea events occurred. It was not too bad and I took some immodium and besides some rumbling, I have been fine since.
I have been incredibly fatigued the last two days.
Tonight we have baseball clinic. Also today, my parents arrive for a week-long visit.
I think dad will go to baseball tonight. That should be fun. It is really quite chaotic and you have to go to all the sessions to notice the dramatic change in ability that occurs.
But it is basically a gym full of 3- to 5-year-olds swinging bats with reckless abandon.
We have a tornado watch this morning. It is quite windy.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
More on the port
since another stich has been put in my chest, the port has gotten more comfortable.
I saw the doc yesterday who says he sees no sign of infection and since the leaking stopped I seem to have gotten a little more used to the thing. It was until Sunday a constant nagging pain.
Now it only feels uncomfortable when I roll over on one side or the other. If I sleep flat on my back - which I don't usually do - I don't feel it at all.
It no longer hurts during radiation.
Speaking of radiation, I had my 14th of 28 treatments yesterday - half way!
in 9 days or so, I start my last five days of radiation on June 12 I see the surgeon in Columbus to wrap up the plans there.
I can see the end.
I really do plan to add to "My Interesting Life" this week. Been busy and pondering what I want to say about the death of Earl Woods. Or, if I want to say anything. mmm.
I saw the doc yesterday who says he sees no sign of infection and since the leaking stopped I seem to have gotten a little more used to the thing. It was until Sunday a constant nagging pain.
Now it only feels uncomfortable when I roll over on one side or the other. If I sleep flat on my back - which I don't usually do - I don't feel it at all.
It no longer hurts during radiation.
Speaking of radiation, I had my 14th of 28 treatments yesterday - half way!
in 9 days or so, I start my last five days of radiation on June 12 I see the surgeon in Columbus to wrap up the plans there.
I can see the end.
I really do plan to add to "My Interesting Life" this week. Been busy and pondering what I want to say about the death of Earl Woods. Or, if I want to say anything. mmm.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
The King of Cancer Comedy Tour (rated PG)
When I found out I had rectal cancer I decided I wanted to get one of those cancer support wrist bands. You know, they have the Lance Armstrong yellow ones for testicular cancer, and they have pink ones for breast cancer.
I don't think I want the rectal cancer writst band - it's brown, with little corn kernals in in it.
I can't make this stuff up.
So anyway,the doctor tells me I have a one in eight chance of ending up with a permanent colostomy.
That's right, not only will I be a useless asshole, I'll have a useless asshole.
seriously.
I was sitting out in the sun today. Don't worry I had on sunblock. I don't want to take any chances.
After all, I already have cancer where the sun don't shine.
Thank you,
You're great!
I'll be here all week, then I metastasize over to the Chuckle Room at the Exit 34 Holiday Inn Express.
I don't think I want the rectal cancer writst band - it's brown, with little corn kernals in in it.
I can't make this stuff up.
So anyway,the doctor tells me I have a one in eight chance of ending up with a permanent colostomy.
That's right, not only will I be a useless asshole, I'll have a useless asshole.
seriously.
I was sitting out in the sun today. Don't worry I had on sunblock. I don't want to take any chances.
After all, I already have cancer where the sun don't shine.
Thank you,
You're great!
I'll be here all week, then I metastasize over to the Chuckle Room at the Exit 34 Holiday Inn Express.
Friday, May 05, 2006
A hole vs. A stitch
I know this makes sense somehow, but still.
About a week ago I was complaining that the site where the port was located hurt - a lot.
My oncologist determined that there were some dissolving stitches that had never dissolved that needed to be removed.
Off to the surgeon's office I went where the stitches were removed and I was told the pain was normal and would go away.
The pain remained and every time I put pressure on the port - such as when I got a radiation treatment - I got a nice big stain on my shirt (I did finally wise-up and put some gauze on the site).
Mary became concerned and called the oncologist who call the surgeon who called Mary who called me and told me to get over to his office right away.
It turns out that when they removed he undissolved stitch it left a hole that was leaking.
So .... Wait for it..... They put a stitch in me to seal the hole.
I guess I should have thought of that.
MARY MARY MARY
Mary reads this blog and last night asked me why I left her out.
What I left out was kind of big and effects us all, but I thought was kind of private. Most of the stuff I talk about here, is about me or Lucy (a girl who pulls her shorts down in the middle of a soccer game for a laugh has lost her privacy rights).
Anyway, Mary, a few months ago, had an operation to move a piece of bone from her hip and graft it to the bone in her upper jaw so we can have some dental implants secured (it all stems from an automobile accident in her youth).
After fighting infection after infection, the doctor has decided that the graft was not going to make it and it was removed.
Now we are back to stage one with her dental repairs. It was a really big blow. She fought the infection tenaciously, but it was just too persistent.
Tuesday she goes for an exam and we will hopefully learn more.
It should be noted that while Mary is shepherding me through my little tribulation she has been dealing with some pretty big stuff as well.
Lucy, however, has been skating, with little responsibility aside from picking up her books, making her bed and bringing in the newspaper - none of which she ever does.
About a week ago I was complaining that the site where the port was located hurt - a lot.
My oncologist determined that there were some dissolving stitches that had never dissolved that needed to be removed.
Off to the surgeon's office I went where the stitches were removed and I was told the pain was normal and would go away.
The pain remained and every time I put pressure on the port - such as when I got a radiation treatment - I got a nice big stain on my shirt (I did finally wise-up and put some gauze on the site).
Mary became concerned and called the oncologist who call the surgeon who called Mary who called me and told me to get over to his office right away.
It turns out that when they removed he undissolved stitch it left a hole that was leaking.
So .... Wait for it..... They put a stitch in me to seal the hole.
I guess I should have thought of that.
MARY MARY MARY
Mary reads this blog and last night asked me why I left her out.
What I left out was kind of big and effects us all, but I thought was kind of private. Most of the stuff I talk about here, is about me or Lucy (a girl who pulls her shorts down in the middle of a soccer game for a laugh has lost her privacy rights).
Anyway, Mary, a few months ago, had an operation to move a piece of bone from her hip and graft it to the bone in her upper jaw so we can have some dental implants secured (it all stems from an automobile accident in her youth).
After fighting infection after infection, the doctor has decided that the graft was not going to make it and it was removed.
Now we are back to stage one with her dental repairs. It was a really big blow. She fought the infection tenaciously, but it was just too persistent.
Tuesday she goes for an exam and we will hopefully learn more.
It should be noted that while Mary is shepherding me through my little tribulation she has been dealing with some pretty big stuff as well.
Lucy, however, has been skating, with little responsibility aside from picking up her books, making her bed and bringing in the newspaper - none of which she ever does.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
The case of the weeping port
When I go for my daily radiation treatment I have to lie on my belly with my pants pulled down past my butt cheeks.
My head is resting on a hard foam pillow with one of those face holes like you see on massage tables.
To get in the right position I have to put a little bit of pressure on the portacath located on my chest, just below my right collar bone.
For the last week this has caused a little bit of fluid to leak out. Since Monday, I have been putting a piece of gauze over the port to keep it from soiling my shirt.
Mary is going to call the doc today to see what can be done about it. Bless her.
I have been meaning to do it all week, but when I am at work, I get too busy and don't think about it.
The doc told her on the very first day that she was supposed to rat me out when I tried to get out of doing the right thing. This is one of those things.
I really don't want to call the doc, but I really don't want to risk an infection.
Second day of baseball camp (or school as Lucy calls it) is tonight.
Everybody else at the camp says it wears their kids out and they fall asleep on the way home.
It does the exact opposite with mine. She stays up later than usual after these things.
Gotta get to work. I am the man this morning.
My head is resting on a hard foam pillow with one of those face holes like you see on massage tables.
To get in the right position I have to put a little bit of pressure on the portacath located on my chest, just below my right collar bone.
For the last week this has caused a little bit of fluid to leak out. Since Monday, I have been putting a piece of gauze over the port to keep it from soiling my shirt.
Mary is going to call the doc today to see what can be done about it. Bless her.
I have been meaning to do it all week, but when I am at work, I get too busy and don't think about it.
The doc told her on the very first day that she was supposed to rat me out when I tried to get out of doing the right thing. This is one of those things.
I really don't want to call the doc, but I really don't want to risk an infection.
Second day of baseball camp (or school as Lucy calls it) is tonight.
Everybody else at the camp says it wears their kids out and they fall asleep on the way home.
It does the exact opposite with mine. She stays up later than usual after these things.
Gotta get to work. I am the man this morning.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Reasons for confidence are reasons for doubt
The big question I keep asking myself is not, "why me?" but rather, "how me?"
How does a guy end up with what looks like three primary cancer tumors in five years?
That's three different kinds of cancer (unless of course the kidney tumor turns out to be rectal cancer that has metastasized)in one person. A lot of people get cancer - but usually just one kind.
There are only a few possibilities.
1. I have a weak immune system.
2. I have some sort of genetic quirk.
3. I am extremely lucky (bad lucky).
Number one: Right now it doesn't seem plausible. I rarely get sick. Until my prostate cancer I never took a sick day from the newsroom at the Citizen-Times. In the past 10 years I have had the flu once. And now, it looks like I am handling the chemo therapy and radiation in a way that a body with a strong immune system would. We are halfway through the chemo and one third through radiation and my big problem is a little bit of heart burn.
Number two: Every doctor I have talked to has suggested we do some sort of genetic testing to see what's up with me.
But, I have one aunt who died of stomach cancer in 1977 and that's it. Everyone else in the family lives long lives with few sicknesses. My brother and father get tested frequently - partly because of me - with nothing showing up. Genetics just doesn't seem likely.
Number three: Could one guy be so lucky? Actually this one falls in best with my belief system. Some people get good cards, some people don't. I stopped playing poker in college because it became apparent that I was never going to get good cards and that I would never develop the skill to play bad cards.
The conclusion is that this is all some horrible mistake or dream and I will wake up soon. Yeah, that's it - it's a dream. A horribly awful dream. zzzznzznznzznnnnn.
How does a guy end up with what looks like three primary cancer tumors in five years?
That's three different kinds of cancer (unless of course the kidney tumor turns out to be rectal cancer that has metastasized)in one person. A lot of people get cancer - but usually just one kind.
There are only a few possibilities.
1. I have a weak immune system.
2. I have some sort of genetic quirk.
3. I am extremely lucky (bad lucky).
Number one: Right now it doesn't seem plausible. I rarely get sick. Until my prostate cancer I never took a sick day from the newsroom at the Citizen-Times. In the past 10 years I have had the flu once. And now, it looks like I am handling the chemo therapy and radiation in a way that a body with a strong immune system would. We are halfway through the chemo and one third through radiation and my big problem is a little bit of heart burn.
Number two: Every doctor I have talked to has suggested we do some sort of genetic testing to see what's up with me.
But, I have one aunt who died of stomach cancer in 1977 and that's it. Everyone else in the family lives long lives with few sicknesses. My brother and father get tested frequently - partly because of me - with nothing showing up. Genetics just doesn't seem likely.
Number three: Could one guy be so lucky? Actually this one falls in best with my belief system. Some people get good cards, some people don't. I stopped playing poker in college because it became apparent that I was never going to get good cards and that I would never develop the skill to play bad cards.
The conclusion is that this is all some horrible mistake or dream and I will wake up soon. Yeah, that's it - it's a dream. A horribly awful dream. zzzznzznznzznnnnn.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Good news, bad news
The good news is that two of three medical people that saw me today were very pleased with my progress.
After five days of chemotherapy and 10 sessions of radiation, I have not had any of the side effects that I have been warned about.
I have been following doctors' orders to the letter.
I met with a nutritionist today who asked me about my typical diet and then asked.
"Are you gaining or losing weight?"
"No, I am as fat as ever."
"Are you nauseous?"
"Nope."
"Any diarrhea?"
"No, none."
"Well, just keep doing what you are doing."
The bad news is that when I got off the table at the radiation clinic my chest was soaked from fluid leaking from the suture site on my port - something just ain't right there.
Tomorrow (Tuesday is going to be crazy). I have to take Mary to see the oral surgeon in Columbus and then have to come back to vote and go to the office in the evening to supervise election night coverage - that means I have to order the pizza.
I will try to talk to someone about the port on Wednesday.
After five days of chemotherapy and 10 sessions of radiation, I have not had any of the side effects that I have been warned about.
I have been following doctors' orders to the letter.
I met with a nutritionist today who asked me about my typical diet and then asked.
"Are you gaining or losing weight?"
"No, I am as fat as ever."
"Are you nauseous?"
"Nope."
"Any diarrhea?"
"No, none."
"Well, just keep doing what you are doing."
The bad news is that when I got off the table at the radiation clinic my chest was soaked from fluid leaking from the suture site on my port - something just ain't right there.
Tomorrow (Tuesday is going to be crazy). I have to take Mary to see the oral surgeon in Columbus and then have to come back to vote and go to the office in the evening to supervise election night coverage - that means I have to order the pizza.
I will try to talk to someone about the port on Wednesday.
Crazy doctor schedule today
I have an appointment with the oncologist at 9 a.m. I see the nutritionist at 11 a.m. and radiation therapy is at 1:30 p.m.
I am afraid the oncologist is going to send me to the surgeon because my port site continues to weep a bit from the suture line.
Oh, and I have work.
There is a primary election tomorrow!
I am afraid the oncologist is going to send me to the surgeon because my port site continues to weep a bit from the suture line.
Oh, and I have work.
There is a primary election tomorrow!
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